Winning

Monday Morning Musing #6

Somehow, this concept of "winning" has been grossly misrepresented by our dear friend Charlie Sheen. In recent interviews with various reporters, Mr. Sheen has concisely laid out his concept of "winning". According to him, "winning" is: having tons of beautiful women at your disposal, nice cars and lavish houses, embracing a life where you do exactly what you want with no regard for others and most importantly, pursuing this lifestyle with "violent hatred". He admits that his decision to respond in this matter derives from feeling misused and kicked around.

This comes as no surprise, as most people who are as reckless as he has become are often doing so as a defensive mechanism. In my opinion, Mr. Sheen is not winning. As his ratings raise and his popularity soars, it may appear that he is but  be not deceived.

True Winning
Initially, I planned to title this last Monday Morning Musing "The Power of Failing". After further consideration, I decided that "Winning" was a much better title. My intention is to share my personal formula for winning in contrast to Mr. Sheen.

For me, winning is getting up everyday and pursuing the purpose that has been set before me with extreme vigor, tenacity and tunnel-vision focus. The level of focus that I am referring to requires great sacrifice. It often means laughing a nay-sayers, missing out on events that you would like to attend, losing sleep and even losing some friends in the process. In order to truly win, one has to be CRYSTAL clear about their purpose and calling in this life. This vision then becomes that foundation for everything that you do.

More importantly, for me, winning is realizing that in the life of a believer there is no such thing as failure. Every life experience, failure and success alike, provides valuable lessons from which we can learn life-changing principles.  "Winning" is not about the amount of material treasures one can store up. However, it is about the everyday actions and impacts that create the total sum of a legacy that speaks to future generations. It's about having the relentless passion to pursue a purpose or dream with everything within you. Even Mr. Sheen seems to understand this concept, as he has pursued money and revenge with "violent hatred" (his words not mine). So, what's stopping you?

Are you winning? This week, spend a little time thinking about how you are "winning" or what changes you need to make to "win" in this life. We'd love to hear your thoughts! Share them with us by commenting below or Twitter (@lLoveLifeMusings). 

'Til next time...être bien!

The Looking Glass

Monday Morning Musing # 5

“Other people’s defenses look unreasonable only because you can’t see their memories”
-Unknown

From time to time I will jot down quotes that resonate with me in my Blackberry.  Sometimes I remember to note the author and at other times I do not. In the case of the above quote, unfortunately I did not. However, the quote remains valid and powerful.

Source: NYDailyNews.com

It is indeed true that others' defenses appear unreasonable to us. In most cases, such is true because we naturally view their defenses, flaws and expectations through the lenses of our own life. We make hasty decisions about the intentions of others based upon how we would respond. In fact, observing our personal thoughts and how we perceive others can serve as a looking glass into the depths of our own psyche.

Think of situation in which you jumped to an erroneous conclusion about a simple matter. It’s happened to all of us. Or, perhaps there was a time that you assumed that your partner committed a particular action in ill-will. If we take a closer look at our thought processes around our assumptions, we will likely find that the assumption had more to do with our defenses and less with the person’s intentions.

Our defenses derive from places of pain, hurt and insecurities. We all have them (and some more than others). The memories of our lives create a backdrop that often influences not only the way we see ourselves, but the way by which we see others. Our defenses, albeit counterproductive at times, are mechanisms that influence every aspect of our lives.

The Take Away Point for this Week

Sometimes, in efforts to learn about others on a deeper level, we must initiate conversation about the story behind the defenses.  This week examine the way in which you view others’ defenses.  Take a little time to get to know that person on another level. Their story, just as yours, are rich and full of setbacks and achievements.

Then, take a step back and look at your own defenses. What are you most afraid of? How do you respond when you are afraid? How are those defenses communicated to others? I believe you’ll find that we all have our stuff, which is why grace is in order when dealing with others. Shall we agree to extend a bit of grace this week?

Here’s to a splendid week! ‘Til next time… être bien!

DISCLAIMER:  I recognize that “defenses” is a broad term that, for many, can include abusive behaviors. I am by NO means encouraging anyone to entertain such behavior. No one should tolerate abuse under any circumstance.  For help: 1.800.799.SAFE
(7233)

Specialization of Self

Monday Morning Musing #2

There’s only one you. There are no duplicates.  There is no other original. After you were created the mold was broken. No one can do what you do in the way that you do it. You are incredibly fantastic and uniquely created for a distinct purpose.  One should consider this exciting news!

In a world filled with copy-cats, imitators and insecurity, I consider it to be of great importance to honor the exclusivity of mankind.  We are phenomenal when we operate at our full potential. One of the greatest privileges of being human is that each day we have the opportunity to specialize in the science of self-improvement.  In my opinion, as Americans, we often miss the mark on this practice. Our focus is often thwarted by specializing in selfishness which is not the practice that I am referencing.   Instead, I am encouraging you to tap into the power of becoming your own competitor. 

When we learn to compete against ourselves, we learn a valuable and motivating practice that resides in every achiever.  Who else could adequately serve as your competition?  The truth is, competing against another uniquely created human being can only happen within improper context.  It is likening to the apples to oranges adage; both are fruit but their properties are uniquely distinct.  An apple can’t become a better orange, nor can you become a better Sharon, Hassan or Maria. Yet, when we become a fierce competitor against ourselves we learn to beat our personal best.  We begin to stretch our abilities outside of their comfort zone into greatness.  Though we will never fully arrive on this Earth (my opinion), we sure can move major mountains and affect real world change while we’re here. 

Specializing in you requires courage, perseverance and confidence.  It is a call to prioritization of matters of importance.  It is a call to embrace who you are and every drop of greatness that resides within in you.  So, this week choose to officially “do you”. Why? Because no one does it better!

‘Til next time…être bien!