Monday, February 28

The Cure for the Lackluster Life

Monday Morning Musings Series: Mondays are arguably the most dreaded day of the week. For many they represent the beginning of an ever-growing to-do list and reentry into the rat race of life. If the aforementioned describes you, Monday Morning Musings (MMMs) are written with you in mind. Over the next six weeks, I will post new installments into the MMM series. It is my hope that each post will inspire you and invigorate your week with a bit of love and inspiration. My only request....Pay it Forward by sharing MMMs with those you love. 


Monday Morning Musing 1: The Death of a Lackluster Life

Seed what you need. These four simple words, spoken by an internet-famed motivational speaker, resonated with me in a peculiar fashion. The concept is simple, yet life-changing. It reminds me of an African proverb that says, "Gbogbo nnkan l'o l'esan." Translated into English, it means, "Everything has its repayment."

If such is the case, perhaps the cure for the lackluster life is to willingly give to others what you need most. Are you seeking love? Love others unconditionally. Are you lonely? Extend companionship to someone else. Are you broke? Give! Such acts are not committed simply with the thought of receiving a reward in mind. The Law of Reciprocity and the Power of Reciprocity is not the same, as the latter suggest that one intentionally gifts another only to receive a favor in return. To the contrary, one gives openly, loves more and seeds great friendship with companionship, not only to simply receive but to impact the lives of others.

The Law of Reciprocity permeates every culture, ethnicity and religious doctrine. It confirms that there is indeed a consequence for every action. Our actions set forth energy on our behalf. What energy will you set forth this week? 


Til next time...être bien!


Up next: The Laws of Adulthood


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Wednesday, February 23

The Pleasure of Goodbye

I just realized that I don't miss them. You know, all the people that were strategically removed because of their toxicity or negativity. I just realized that I do not miss them.  

At the end of each year, I spend time reflecting on the months prior. In years past, my reflections revealed typically one or two people lingering on the list, awaiting the boot. The unfortunate fact is, they often didn't know it. So, as 2010 ended, I embarked upon my usual 3-4 day reflection. I used this time to evaluate myself (one must always start with self), evaluate the status of my long-term goals, and to assess current relationships. The conclusion... 2010 was a year of purging. Negative relationships were released, poor habits were evicted and for the small thinkers...security was summonsed.

Last year was filled with pitfalls and victories. Some of my most fervent prayers were answered after years of conversations with God. Though my victories came at a high price, I am grateful for the experience. Nevertheless, what became most apparent during my reflections was that a couple of relationships that were very dear to me ended in 2010. One was a friendship of over 20 years and the other a friendship with a prior love interest. Both of them were people that I shared some of happiest moments of my life. However, their time had expired. Simple as that. Their placement in my life was no longer beneficial. More importantly, my placement in their life lacked purpose.  

Often, we tend to hold on to people (or things) that we deem necessary or important. Yet, we fail to realize that the very thing that we are holding on to may be a barrier to our full potential. For this reason, we must always remain aware of patterns of behavior. As the saying goes, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them". Don't misunderstand me; I am not suggesting that we keep a tally of the wrongs or inefficiencies of others. None of us are in a position to keep such a record.  Instead, I am suggesting that one must become relentless about removing, rearranging, restructuring or revising anything that stands between them and the fulfillment of purpose in this life.  

I still love the people that I had to remove. I honor the season that they occupied. However, the truth is, people change. Sometimes, they change in a way that is not conducive to your current season. If they remain they will indeed become distractions. There is value in loving someone from a distance.

So, for now....Au revoir ma chère.


What do you need to let go of today? I'd love to hear your thoughts via email or comments. There's freedom in open expression.


Next up: Monday Morning Musings


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Sunday, February 20

Stay Focused



Source: Sitepoint

Stay focused.
For the journey is long and the distractions are many.
Keep  the narrow path,
for it leads to places painted with destiny and purpose.
Stay focused.
Greatness has never invited the faint of heart.
However, those who dare to accomplish the impossible will reap if they faint not.
Stay focused.

Purpose carries the responsibility of generations of dreams.

For the destiny you aspire to reach is coated with blessings and covered by the prayers of those who were courageously redeemed.
Stay focused.
Reach far and fervently for your dreams.
The purpose you aspire to achieve has been uniquely planted in the fiber of your being.


'Til next time...être bien!


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Thursday, February 17

When Success Goes Green

Source: The City Fix

Life has provided me with many experiences. My travels have lead me to many people and personalities. Yet, there is one green-eyed character that tends to only visit when "success" (or the appearance of such) is apparent. Mr. or Mrs. Insecurity comes to the party decked in the greenest of fashion with the sole purpose of causing one to second guess their own destiny.

  
It has been my personal experience that success has a way of threatening those who are insecure. Albeit unintentional, the minute that your dreams begin to take form, there will be someone who will straddle the line between friend and foe. Their personal insecurities will be heightened and shaken by your success. Unfortunately, it can be difficult sometimes to identify the foe because they wear the costume of "friend". After all, they were some of your biggest cheerleaders along the way, even if they were cheering from the sidelines.

The truth is, the view from the sideline can be pleasant but it's nothing like being in the game. The players in the game have a different perspective, as they are closely engaged with the activities of victory. In fact, it's highly unlikely that those in the game even notice those on the sidelines, beyond mere glimpses from the peripheral view. Yet, somehow your gumption to pursue victory threatens their hope for success.

If is my belief that Mr. & Mrs. Insecurity show up to the game dressed in the greenest of green, most likely because they feel their status has been challenged. He/She has reserved their place at the top. As a "friend", you were expected to respect their position. And, though they will never admit it, he/she feels as though they lose a piece of themselves in your success.

Secondly, your success is a reminder of the seat they warmed on the sideline instead of getting in the game. While being preoccupied as a cheerleader and spectator, they lost sight of the very vision that God revealed for their own lives. Spectating has its place, as much can be learned from observing others. However, as a hobby it can become a distraction from one's purpose.

Or perhaps it's none of the aforementioned. Maybe, Mr. or Mrs. Insecurity has yet to find their unique place in this world. They may be unaware that what they bring to the game is wonderfully and perfectly engineered to compliment a specific season and purpose. One's talent can never be threatened or duplicated as it holds infinite and unique quality.

Whatever the case, you should never allow the insecurities of others to affect your success and joy. The journey that you have been assigned has been carefully designed for you, as has the journey of Mr. and Mrs. Insecurity. As unfortunate as it may be, we are often placed in the lives of others as an example of the infinite power of the Creator. If they chose to see (and wear) green instead it will certainly be their personal loss.

Let us decide to genuinely celebrate the successes of others. It is a reminder of the undying grace presented to us each day.

'Til next time... être bien!


Monday, February 14

2011 is the Year of Love!

A confirmation gift given to me by a 
friend.
*cue the harp, horns and African drums*
Consider this a public service announcement... 2011 is the YEAR OF LOVE! If I had started this blog on January 1st this would have been my very first post. But, since I didn't, you are receiving the news a bit late. Perhaps, love has already found you.  

Have you ever had that feeling that something's brewing? A feeling that something good is about to happen but you just can't put your finger on it? Well, I have that feeling my dears. Love ushered in this year with a number of wedding engagements (for friends), fresh new beginnings and lifted spirits. This is a vast difference from years past (especially the past two) when people were making every attempt to keep their heads above water. The downturn of the economy had an effect on more than just purse strings. The hearts of many were broken and tested by an instant change of lifestyle. Others found out the answer to Tina's question of "what's love got to do with it?” 

For some, the struggles of unemployment, reduced income and all that the downturn has introduced, may not be over. However, it is my most sincere belief that love awaits us in this new year, regardless of circumstance. I am not only referring to romantic love (I certainly believe that awaits me) but a deeper understanding, sharing and receiving of all love.  

My confidence lies in my own commitment to seed more love. I am convinced that love is indeed the greatest gift one can give to another. Love is powerful. It can blind you to the imperfections of others and heal you from the experiences of those imperfections. Love is contagious, captivating and mesmerizing. It is our greatest friend and our closest companion. Will you allow love to change your life this year?

"Til next time...Happy Valentine's Day and être bien!


Friday, February 11

Exposé # 1



I savor the delicate places in my heart where love has taken up residence and the way it makes me smile when I think of it.
I savor the vibrant morsels of ethnic cuisine that transport me to places that I've never traveled.
I savor the precious moments that I spend with my mother and sister when we do what sisters and daughters do.
I savor the leap that occurs in my spirit each time I step into a classroom to learn about the likes of Murray Bowen, Salvador Minuchin and Virginia Satir.
I savor the ever-gentle kindness that has been imparted to me by dear friends and true loves.

Listen the first time! Better to get it right the first time than to repeat the lesson over, and over and over again. 

Wow! I pretend I am a neo-soul singer. *singing loud and off-key* I always say, I didn't receive the gift of a beautiful voice because God knew I would abuse it. 

I love the time we spend together at my mother's home on New Year's Day. Each year we meet at her house, right after church (or wherever people are coming from) for a late night/early morning breakfast (around 1:00 am). The spread includes everything from shrimp and grits to fresh toast casserole. It's the last cheat meal before the New Years goals kick in.

I reminisce on the times when I wasn't centered and how I felt during those times. I remind myself that I have a great purpose to fulfill. My thoughts always find their way back to balance.

Love. There is no greater gift than love. Further, I received the gift of learning how to love. Talk about a gift that keeps on giving. :-)

Success resides in fulfilling the purpose of your existence. We all have one. We just have to find it. This is the road to success. You will know it when you find it.

This is a loaded question... let's see if I can't answer concisely, as the lessons are many. 
- I don't have all of the answers.
- People value my advice.
- I construct realities in my head that do not exist.
- I am loved.
- Some things are better left unsaid.

Absolutely. I feel it everyday. I know that the calling upon my life to help others achieve their full potential is great. I am often overwhelmed by the things that God reveals to me. In terms of "special"...well, it's special because it was given to me (and only me) to achieve. That doesn't mean that it will occur in a vacuum, but the initial responsibilities are often revealed to me first.

"Til next time...être bien!

Blogosphere Debut

After over one year of consideration, I have finally joined the blogosphere! Quite honestly, I have no idea why I waited so long. So, why now? (that's the question we are encouraged to ask as therapist) Well, the short answer is... it feels like the right time. My friends have encouraged me to start a blog for over a year now. It wasn't until random strangers in random conversation began to say, "You should start a blog", that I began to say..."Perhaps, I should".  

My intentions with this blog is to simply share my thoughts about love, life and the musings that influence and often change my life. Considering the fact that I have an avid curiosity about love, it is likely that you will hear about it often. I am equally as excited to hear the opinions of others regarding the aforementioned and more. I welcome any opportunity to learn about others. 

Consider Love, Life and Musings a perfect compliment to your morning coffee, midday tea or evening glass of wine.

'Til next time... être bien.